Well here goes my 2 cents on the Grammys:
On Sunday night I find myself, like many of you, on the couch with my family watching the Grammys. I love moments like this when it's just us all curled up watching something that we all enjoy and can interact with each other. It's almost the ultimate family time, next to long walks in the park while holding hands and laughing together.
As we were starting the Grammys I was very excited. It started out with Beyouce and Jay Z, which was a rough start for me but I suffered through it and kept my excitement, you know, staying positive. As the show continued and I saw performances by people that I loved & people that my parents loved, saw awards given out, heard new songs, saw old and new performers, watched awards being given to people that didn't speak (well if they did you couldn't hear it through their helmets), squealed as I was awed by the singing acrobat, and watched Queen Latifah marry 33 couples I was filled with mixed emotions.
For the most part my reactions were pure joy and laughter. I loved almost every minute of the Grammys. It was awesome watching so many people come together because of the love of music. There was dancing and singing and crying and laughing, it was great! Who doesn't love watching people having a great time, or laughing your butt off with your family while you dance and act a fool? I know I sure do.
Now what shocked me the most was that my emotions that were not "joy and laughter" didn't come when Katy Perry performed or when Taylor Swift danced (and made all us white girls proud), or even when there was a wedding ceremony for 33 couples, including straights, gays, old, young, and mixed race. Actually, those things took me into deep thought (minus the Taylor Swift dancing, my thought for that was: Amazing!).
The reason that I was shocked was because I know myself. I know how I think and how I judge. I grew up with a Christian background. I grew up in church. I was always surrounded by rules and commandments and sins. I was always told what I was doing, how I was doing it, and how to fix it. While these things are not wrong, it's not wrong to know that you are a sinner, it's not wrong to be told when you are in the wrong, it is, however, wrong to be told in a way that is more like "if you do this bad thing then Jesus won't love you anymore" and less like "es, you are a sinner (like me) but Papa loves you more than anything and always will."
I say all that because many times growing up in the church actually ruins us. We know everything that is wrong and right, we know how to fix it, and we most defiantly know how to tell others what they're doing wrong and how to fix it.
So the whole Katy Perry performance and the 33 couples getting married including gays and mixed races is a tough one for me. Last year it would have made me sick to my stomach and want to wash out my eyes and heart with soap, because I'm a good little Christian that can't associate myself with "those people", but the truth is while yes, it does hurt my heart to see the sin in this world (just as all sin grieves the Father) it makes me want to Love bigger and judge less. Because as Christians, we have a few things right, but we have many things wrong. And we need to learn Love.
We don't truly know Love.
Ok so I know you're thinking:
A) If we truly love those that we know are in the wrong, and show love to them, aren't we really just saying, "it's ok, do whatever you want"?
B) It's our job to "help" the people that don't know better.
C) They are wrong and I am right.
D) It makes me uncomfortable
E) All of the above
But here's the thing:
A) Jesus said love. So we should. Not with our own intentions or with the mindset of "I can fix this person, if I love them enough they will come around and see that I'm right"
B) No. Chances are they do know better (or they have no idea and need Love to show them)
Sorry to bust our bubble but where did we get the idea that we are the Savior. Last time I checked that was Jesus' job. Yes, we do "help" Him (if that's how you want to look at it) but we NEVER do His job for Him.
C) We need to pull out the log out of own eyes before we think about even looking at the speck in others. (Even if you think that all your sins together don't amount to the sins of someone you think is living in sin, you're wrong. Everyone has grieved His heart, everyone has made Papa cry, everyone has crushed Him, and we all continue to do so everyday.)
D) Again, lets look at ourselves. Why are we uncomfortable? Why does being with gays or drug addicts make us squirm? Because they don't agree with us? Because they don't make us feel good about ourselves like our "Christian" friends do?
Jesus spent His free time with prostitutes and tax collectors (I know, "tax collector" doesn't sound so bad, but look them up, they were some of the worst) . That was what He choose to do. That's what He wanted to do. He picked then up off the ground and loved them. He dined with them. He didn't "feel uncomfortable", and He never made them feel uncomfortable.
E) All of the above.
Now all of these things are very new to me. This whole Love thing. Knowing Love and being Love. The reason that I've written all those reasons down is because those are the thoughts that I still have. I still feel like a lost sheep many days. I don't have the words or the answers or Love. I don't understand how Love can triumph over all. It doesn't make sense in my brain that if I simply show Love people will change. Since when does Loving someone win over punishing them or pointing out their flaws? I'm a confronter. I do not mind confrontation. I will tell you how it is and why it's wrong in a heartbeat. And to me, that makes sense, that works.
But that contradicts what Jesus says. He says simply Love.
Love.
What is Love and how do we do it?
Well you see, Love isn't a thing or a feeling or something you do or a hug. It's actually a person.
It's Papa Himself.
So when we Love, it's not us. There is nothing in our human nature that is "good", nothing in us that "loves". Every piece of Love that we show is simply Him shining through us. That's it.
So now here's a new perspective:
That drug addict that just smiled at you on the street; that's Love.
The gay couple that let you pass them in the grocery store because you had less stuff than them; that's Love.
The rebellious teenager that just said "Mom, I love you"; that's Love.
And all of those things are Papa showing you His love in everything and everyone. Love is already there, we just have to find Him.
And yes, we are called to Love, but how often do find Love in those we are called to?
Thank you for taking the time to listen to/read my heart. Please understand that I Love Jesus and He is surely in me. I am simply on this journey with Him and learning every step of the way.
I Love you guys!
